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Helicopter Parenting – Is it the best gift for kids?

8 min read
How helicopter parenting denies children their rights

Children outgrow fun moments. Let not your child skip any.

Helicopter parenting is likely to be on our day-to-day activity list even without us realizing it. It is one of those instinctive part-of-life moves.  

Why? 

We were also kids.  

So, we either want to be the best parents to our children like our parents or, we wouldn’t like our kids to experience the painful challenges we went through growing up!  

We bring up our children with the memories of our childhood in mind. Of course, forgetting the past has always been a recipe for a repeat of an unpleasant past.  

In the process of giving our children the best, we unknowingly deny them a chance to get ready to face the harsh world. When time is up for them to stand on their own, they get broken fast since they get shocked at normal things that happen around them.  

And then; what happens?  

Despite all the efforts to give them the best future, their lives may take an unexpected twist. To avoid this, we need to fix helicopter parenting. 

You can listen to this podcast to understand how a helicopter parent behaves.   

Most of the time, people will tell you what you are doing wrong, but they won’t tell you the source! 

Well, did you know your past experiences are likely to swerve you into helicopter parenting without you knowing it?

These examples will help you figure out how you became a helicopter parent.

What causes a parent to be a helicopter parent?

Looking at it spiritually, inner wounds contribute a lot to the possessiveness with which we bring up our children. If you have ever experienced the following, you are likely to be a helicopter parent even without your knowledge.  

  1. You come from a broken or dysfunctional family.  
  1. Financial challenges during your upbringing.  
  1. Traumatic experiences like attempted rape, or rape.  

So, how do these effects trickle down to your kids?  

Let’s explain these points further.  

You come from a broken or dysfunctional family

The pain that comes with divorce, separation, or a dysfunctional family doesn’t go away easily. It contributes a lot to helicopter parenting as you’re trying to fix the past in the present.  

What I mean is this.  

Any decision you make concerning your children is pegged on your childhood. You want to avoid hurting them as much as possible because you understand the pain behind it.  

And yes; you’re right anyway! 

Experience is the best teacher! 

But what can you do to protect your children moderately without harming their future?  

The tips are right ahead!  

As children play, they are likely to spoil things but learn a lot in the process.

How helicopter parenting denies children their rights
Children outgrow fun moments. Let not your child skip any.

Another pointer towards helicopter parenting is the excessive lack of basic needs in childhood.  

Financial challenges during your upbringing 

“I’ll work extremely hard to make sure I have everything in the future.” If you ever uttered these words earlier in life, the future is now.  

So, what's your now?  

Are you financially stable?  

If so, you are likely to be helicopter-parenting without having a hint. Helicopter parents find it difficult to say ‘no’ to their children’s requests. 

It honestly hurts to struggle to live from hand to mouth. You want to supply your children with all their needs. As a result, they will not understand that hard times also exist. It is likely to negatively affect their independence in the future.  

Trauma has also played a big role in the way we parent our kids.   

Traumatic experiences like attempted rape, or rape 

Naturally, you will become over-protective to keep your children off the eyes of predators. Overprotectiveness is helicopter parenting.  

If you had a bad experience when you decided to take a shortcut, you will most likely tell your children shortcuts are dangerous.  

In other cases, it could be a scar. If you got burnt while cooking at the age of 12, you’ll probably feel your child is too young to cook at the same age!  

Why helicopter parenting damages the mental state of a child
Playing is therapeutic.

Subsequently, your children remain kids longer than expected.  

Many parents never get to know they’re helicopter parents because naturally, it is the responsibility of parents to protect their children.  

Helicopter parenting is, therefore, defined by the extent to which a parent involves themselves in the lives of their kids.  

Unfortunately, we cannot quantify to which extent we can refer to anyone as a helicopter parent. These signs can help you evaluate yourself as you read on for spiritual solutions to save your children from the diverse effects of helicopter parenting.  

Common Signs of Helicopter Parenting 

Helicopter parenting is not driven by self but rather by others. You get more concerned about what other people will gain from your child to the extent that you overlook what your child will gain from them. Remember, the roots are in your personal experiences as stated above.  

  1. Despite your kids age, you make all decisions for them.  
  1. You encourage your kids to keep off other children for fear of toxicity. 
  1. In your opinion, your kids are better off indoors.  

These traits are likely to impact the children negatively as explained below: - 

Despite your kids age, you make all decisions for them 

Even as young adults, your children find it difficult to make decisions without consulting you. This is because, throughout their life, you never gave them a chance to decide. 

They are not able to think and act fast as their brains are partially dormant. In place of their brains, is yours. You’ve all along been thinking for them! 

When they step into the world on their own, they get shocked. The world receives them in ways that may instill fear in them and even cause depression.  

Alternatively, it becomes a moment to exploit the long-awaited freedom. Since they can’t handle themselves, and can no longer consult you all the time, they make wrong decisions. Their newly acquired peers teach them about their pleasures.  

Remember, young adults, become more reserved.  

If you exposed your children to the environment in childhood, they’d innocently come back with a lot of stories from which you would give them advice. Children are too loyal at a tender age unlike in young adulthood.  

If your parenting style doesn’t affect their personal lives, it will show up in their marriages. They’d always want to consult you before making conclusions. When this happens, the spouse will blame you. You may not want to imagine them calling you toxic mother-in-law, but sadly, it may happen.  

It makes your relationship sour.  

You’ll agree with me that no spouse likes to live with a mama’s boy or a mama’s girl.  

Such children will comfortably live in their parents' home even at the age of 30 and beyond. If they leave and marry, they’ll run back to their parents’ home at any slight disagreement.  

Ideally, you'd expect them to be helicopter parents to their children. But they won't. They'll pass over the responsibility to you.

As much as we are parents for life, helicopter parenting makes you

You encourage your kids to keep off other children for fear of toxicity 

The whole world needs spiritual detoxification. But looking back at the writings in the Bible, the world has always been toxic. What changes is only the kind of toxicity! Both good and bad people live in the world.  

In essence, God expects our goodness to spill over to the bad people and change them. The devil also expects the bad characters to infect the good and pull them over to his camp.  

Lessons your children miss when helicopter parenting takes the lead
Fun moments for kids; brain development galore

This is exactly what I mean.  

We need to learn to coexist. If we don't, helicopter parenting will take a toll on us. Before we know it, the damage is irreversible.

Learning begins early in life to create room for adoption. If we pull our children away from society, they skip the coexistence lessons. When you miss classes, you cannot pass the exams compared to the person who attends all classes. 

Helicopter parenting conceals the challenges, which are stepping stones to a better tomorrow.

If you have no details of any child’s unbecoming character, do not deny your child playing moments based on no bad track record.  

An indoor child is likely to suffer from low self-esteem. Without esteem, the child feels like the world is crumbling on them.  

In your opinion, your kids are better off indoors 

You may want to call them introverts but underneath could be loneliness. They lack social skills yet for them to do anything in life, they need people.  

Helicopter parenting could be the cause.

Lack of social skills paints them the wrong way. Their peers may side-line them based on the way they react to situations. By the time this is happening, the people involved are part of their lives.  

Take an example of students in the university.  

They may need to engage in helpful discussions. This is a give-and-take situation. They will expect your child to contribute. This is a recurrent state of affairs that needs social skills too.  

If they wanted to start a business, to whom would they sell their products or services? The social element is important.  

I guess it would be helpful for kids to mingle as they play, get annoyed, cry over little things, learn, and become harder.  

Today’s pain brings tomorrow’s joy.  

How To Overcome Helicopter Parenting 

Having said all this, helicopter parenting proves to be a trait most of us invisibly exhibit in different percentages. We cannot blame ourselves, nor can we blame anyone for it. The blame game has always caused more destruction.  

Now, we need to know how to deal with this fine-looking trait that has serious effects on our children.  

As usual, we need to tackle the cause of the problem to avoid a repeat of it.  

Now, go back to the examples of triggers of helicopter parenting and figure out how you became one! 

You need to heal.  

How do you heal?  

You need to align yourself to people and things that point towards your healing.  

These hidden treasures will help you evaluate your spiritual ability to handle your healing process.  

Please take note of the word ‘process.’ 

You may not heal as fast as you expect.  

Getting impatient! 

You may need an occasional one-on-one with someone you have confidence in. Some of us are still traditional. A face-to-face conversation produces better results for the “We’ve got to meet and discuss” type of parent.  

If you are carefree and ready to get information from anywhere, then you can get very good life-changing videos on YouTube. 

Divine UK is one of those channels I have learned quite a lot from. If you go through their videos, you will find very helpful inner healing messages. You’ll never want to miss their live sessions again.   

Once you heal, you will find it very easy to free your children as they grow older; of course, with appropriate parental guidance.  

Wrap Up 

Helicopter parenting needs divine intervention. A prisoner can never release a fellow prisoner. You ought to free yourself to be able to free your children.  

If you found this helpful, would you mind sharing it with any helicopter parent you know?  

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