Even if you are still single, you’ll become a wife and mother someday. Prevention has always been better than cure. Knowing what husband material to look out for will save you a lot of trouble.
We live our lives in awe of what tomorrow holds. A 'husband material' is one of the worries of every woman who has attained the age of marriage! The age, however, varies depending on the wide-ranging factors every woman considers.
Expecting too much from the husband-to-be has let women down.
Husband material scrutiny:
A tall and handsome man!
A good listener!
Slow to anger!
A good communicator!
One thing that many people will not tell you is that before you list down your expectations, you ought to possess them. Life is a give and take; you get more of what you give. You cannot get the opposite of what you give.
For instance, if you are rigid, you cannot expect flexibility! To portray good qualities, your spirit needs to be up and running in the right direction. Lacking some qualities is not a stopper either. There is always room for nurturing good habits. When you become a committed Catholic, you will never go wrong. It’s only fair that each person benefits from the relationship.
Husband material and wife material level up on the same playground.
The Truth About Husband Material Qualities
Unfortunately, the majority have switched from the beauty of the soul to physical looks. Either we have forgotten or do not know it is the spirit that makes up the body. If the soul is unfit, the body follows suit! For anyone to have the above qualities, his soul needs to be in the right state!
When God cautioned the Israelites not to get married to particular tribes, His focus was on the soul. Looking at the story that surrounds this caveat, sin was rampant in those communities (Deuteronomy 7:1-11).
Deuteronomy 7:3-4 points it out. You shall not intermarry with them, neither giving your daughters to their sons nor taking their daughters for your sons. For they would turn your sons from following me to serving other gods, and then the wrath of the Lord would flare up against you and quickly destroy you.
We all desire to engage with husband material right from courtship, but we have to prepare the way for his entry into our lives.
Would you like to know one of the best ways to prepare? Catholic Charismatic Renewal has it!
Before you pray, you compose yourself to meet Jesus in your best state. Perhaps you’re asking yourself what you need to do to ensure you land on Mr. Right!
Here is my answer.
Identify your purpose and nurture it. It is, however, a fact that God will never reveal your purpose when you’re living in a state of sin. Husband material comes across when you obey God (Romans 8:28).
God planned the coming of Jesus well in advance. John the Baptist came to make way for Jesus. As you look out for husband material, make yourself a busy bee, removing all the twigs on the way. When he finally lands, welcome him the way John the Baptist received Jesus.
It is important to congregate a meeting with all your intellects and weed out what may put off your prospective husband. Once you have strategized how to control your weak areas, the validity of your demands goes up. God presents the 'husband material' as a reward for your efforts. A husband whose downside you can handle! It sounds like Greek, but it’s a reality!
Hear what Paul had to say about marriage!
Paul’s Writings About Marriage
In a recent discussion with a young friend, she insinuated that Paul loosened the rules earlier put in place. I would say he didn’t.
1 Corinthians 7:14 – For the unbelieving husband is made acceptable to God by being united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband. If this were not so, their children would be like pagan children; but as it is, they are acceptable to God.
I would say, Paul’s message above is meant for those who already got married without pre-auditing their spouse's background. Their task ahead is, therefore, to work in collaboration with our merciful God to help fix the problem. Remember He is the same God who made clothes for Adam and Eve when they realized they were naked after their disobedience!
Saint Monica is one such example.
Can you believe she had to pray for 15 years to save her son Saint Augustine?
Do you know why?
She got married to a stubborn man. Her son inherited his father's traits (blood ties).
Now scroll back and read the scripture above again.
When you get married without doing the necessary checks, you have a great job ahead. It was 15 years for Saint Monica. What about you?
Think about it but most of all, pray and be patient if you are already married.
With scriptural knowledge, like all of us, even Paul admits that he came after Moses and cannot defy the teachings of the Old Testament. Paul’s message does not, therefore, erase the prior message. In Acts 24:14 we see the position Paul takes to make people understand who he is!
A Husband as An Asset or a Liability!
There is only one valid approach that we need to use to reach God. He comes first so we ought to find Him then the rest follow.
Finding a man first then asking God to shape him to your expectations may take a bit of time, and only God’s mercy can alter the situation. Impatience is likely to set in, and before you know it, the marriage may no longer work. It happens when you get married to a liability, and not an asset.
With God as the priority, He will undoubtedly link you up with a husband who has identified his purpose too. Now that you both read from the same page, God can take you places!
Before you step into a marriage, interview the man's spirit; not his body. Your body cannot interview his spirit either; it is spirit versus spirit so your spirit must be in good shape. Liabilities fade away, but assets don’t. A 'husband material' is an asset; a bad husband is a liability. Assets resonate with permanence; liabilities are temporary. Which way do you want to go?
God is permanent and so should a husband!
Marriage is one fragile institution where the gap between couples has been widening rather than getting tighter over the years. Divorce and separation cases have become a normal phenomenon against the will of the majority. Most victims will either blame the partner claiming they do not know what crept into their love. Here comes some beforehand tips to help you avoid joining the statistics of unworkable marriages.
The Bitter Truth on the search of a Husband Material
Many ladies have been duped, right inside the Catholic church. They ended up with conmen masquerading as husband material. The unfortunate thing is that the true identity of such men gets to the limelight after you have already taken your vows. Instead of enjoying your marriage, your pillow permanently gets soaked with tears. You wish you had remained single instead.
If you live in purity, you will undoubtedly distinguish an emotional conman from husband material. Keenly lookout for these qualities. Never cover up his habits with love assuming he will change. The reverse of these qualities are signs of a troublesome marriage.
The 5 Qualities of a Husband Material
'God-fearing' is a large term that encompasses a variety of qualities. As human beings, we may lack some of those qualities. The way one handles issues is a reflection of how vast his knowledge is about the God-fearing hat he wears. Generally, a husband material needs to possess these characteristics.
A God-fearing man will always have a viable solution to tackling a problem. If he suggests that you quit your job, he probably will support you in setting up a business. That may apply in a case where you are already married. He wouldn’t just leave you hanging with empty promises.
You stop doing one good thing and switch to another good thing immediately.
He is composed and looks at things from a broader perspective.
He asks for your opinion in a case where he has to do something that involves you. Humility and dialogue are intertwined for as long as more than one person gets involved.
He is not dictatorial, respects your views, and sometimes asks for your opinion. Remember Jesus asking Peter how much they ought to pay for temple tax? He had an answer already since He is God. Jesus was only exercising humility and inclusivity.
Very often we have mistaken a responsible man for a nagging man. A man who calls to find out if you’re already home safely may just be caring! He cares what you feel about his actions and feels sorry when he hurts you.
You can read between the lines while you are still courting.
An open man loves to know you in detail and answers your questions with confidence without wondering why you asked the question in the first place. He is okay meeting you anywhere anytime.
No matter how much you may annoy him, he gets upset but contains his anger and deals with it almost immediately. He understands that you are not perfect and does not keep reminding you of previous mistakes.
Now take this home
You’ve got to be God-fearing to be able to identify a husband material.
God gave everyone some wisdom but adds more to those who fear Him.
James 1:5; But if any of you lacks wisdom, you should pray to God who will give it to you; because God gives generously and graciously to all.
It is only through wisdom that you can distinguish real from fake.
Proverbs 1:7; to have knowledge, you must first have reverence for the Lord. Stupid people have no respect for wisdom and refuse to learn.
Now, do you agree you may unknowingly lack wisdom?
Remember I mentioned earlier that the title “God-fearing” is an umbrella to several virtues. Comb them out and practice all of them.
Acquiring these virtues or converting vices to virtues is a process.
Your “husband material” is already packaged awaiting delivery. If you want to unpackage the correct parcel, do not resist change where it proves to be the best option.