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Low Self-Esteem: The Thorn In The Flesh

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Is low self-esteem for real? Why would anyone choose to be a cry baby? Could people just be using it to seek sympathy?
Low self-esteem: The death that kills the living

"Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's low self-esteem."

Low self-esteem is a state of mind that makes the affected person feel less able to partake in activities that their age-mates are comfortable doing. Their doubts overrule their confidence and absorb it.

Let me explain it further.

Self-confidence ignites the hormones to react to situations, whereas doubts keep them in a comfort zone.

Should I even refer to it a such!

It is more of a state of fear where the subconscious mind sends a "NO" signal at a jet speed. The innermost mind has been configured to take more time to get accustomed to people.

So how does low self-esteem affect the culprits?

Most of the time, they avoid people who challenge them. They live in fear of failure.

On the contrary, people with high self-esteem do not give a brink at any trial ahead of them.

In the long run, the affected person may not go far in terms of achievements. Their skepticism keeps them away from numerous opportunities. Being a parent to such a person can be daunting. It’s worth doing everything at your disposal to trash the low self-esteem.

Without identifying the source of the inferiority complex, your efforts to bring it to an end may turn out futile.

Let's now deal with the source of the elephant in the room!

Causes of Low Self-Esteem

Is low self-esteem for real? Why would anyone choose to be a cry baby? Could people just be using it to seek sympathy?

If you've ever asked these questions, you need to camp here.

Let's start where the problem begins!

There exist assimilated characters in sufferers of low self-esteem, but that is just the end product. The foundations of the problem might be different.

Low self-esteem frustrates a person and can lead to depression or worse off, suicide. Unfortunately, it is not well understood and considered more of a personal problem in the developing stages. It becomes a family problem only when it has advanced to depression.

Without each person taking personal responsibility towards this fast-growing disastrous trait, the destruction may get more out of hand than it has, right from our homes to other institutions.

Here are the major causes of low self-esteem;

  1. Childhood bullying
  2. Teenage discoveries

Childhood Bullying

  • Children are handled by parents, nannies, teachers, and playmates at different stages of their lives. All these groups of people are likely to partake in the latter low self-esteem behaviors of the affected persons, either knowingly or innocently.
  • Some parents have not learned to accept that each child has a special gift. They tend to dwell on the more pronounced talents as they unknowingly intimidate the child whose ability is hidden. Children may not speak out, but feel left out when parents praise their siblings. They begin to withdraw, and this can easily be confused for being polite.
  • Nannies can become dramatic in the absence of the child’s parents. Based on their private motives, or reasons that emanate from the treatment they get in these homes, they can vent their anger on young children. The effects then carry on as they grow up.  
girl, sad, worried
Child mishandling: A recipe for low self-esteem
  • Once children begin to go to school, teachers interact with them more than their parents. Teachers love performers. The inability to meet the teacher’s standards can make them develop an attitude towards the said child. The pupil ends up suffering in silence. It worsens their performance, and they grow up believing they are not good enough.
  • Playmates are bound to tease their peers. It makes them develop a feeling of inadequacy. It can carry on and only get noticed when it begins to bite on the future of the now young adult. In other cases, teens develop low self-esteem on the self-discovery of who they are.

Teenage Discoveries

Life doesn’t usually take the expected course. Parents break up, and wealth diminishes, among other circumstances. For as long as the children cannot make head or tail of the happenings, they remain comfortable.

The effects of these changes hit them when they become teenagers.

worried, bored, sad
How low self-esteem cripples the youth

Those who are living with one parent are likely to feel out of place among complete families. Wealth reduction also necessitates changes in the schools they attend and the activities they engage in. Human beings are naturally resistant to change, especially if the change is for the worse.

A lot begins to run in their minds as they find themselves unfit to mingle with their childhood friends. Low self-esteem finds its way into their lives without external triggers.

Enough of that for now.

Some of these causes of low self-esteem are avoidable, whereas others are not. Either way, you have to deal with the problem before the youngster becomes independent.

How to Build Lost Self-Esteem

Now that you know some of the triggers of low self-esteem, be sure not to contribute to other people's suffering.

What can you do to save a situation?

  • Lie low for the sake of getting the person back on the right path.
  • Answer him questions immediately. Ignoring or dismissing him makes him feel unwanted.
  • Get much closer to him than ever before, your lack of concern about him is an emotional teaser.
  • Allow him to make decisions and implement them. Congratulate him on any efforts made.
  • Encourage him by sharing true stories of successful people who have had similar experiences in the past.
  • Listen even to what may not make sense to you and participate.
  • Let him learn to live in the present. The past is history. It only determines the future if given space.
  • You need to have hands-on Bible verses that you can quote in the process of encouraging the person. The inability to answer questions is a recipe for a downtrend of emotions. It can open a door for depression.

Do you know why you need to do all these for someone else, yet you handled your problems without losing your esteem?

Get the answer.

Why Low Self-Esteem Does Not Affect Everyone

Each person is uniquely created. Unfortunately, most of the time we expect people to act like us.

One hardy person will brush off his hurts immediately, whereas another will cry over a similar wound for three days. The latter is likely to experience low self-esteem. It may not be his wish, but he’s just wired like that. Maybe he’s gullible compared to you!

Assuming that this young person is your child, you cannot run away from the fact that you are part of his future. His bleak future affects you for as long as you live.

What are the Effects of Lowering People’s Esteem?

In the long-term, you will also suffer the consequences since you will share in the pain if the person ceases to be himself. Assume it’s your child or spouse; you cannot escape it.

He will find it difficult to unleash his potential in such a condition since he is in a leased state of mind. His overall development staggers. No matter how much he may want to offer a shoulder to lean on when you are in need, he may not be able to, courtesy of your humiliation.

Once it advances to depression, you will spend unexpected amounts of money solving a problem you could have avoided.

How to Avoid Humiliating People

  • Start by accepting that people must not be like you.
  • Dwell on the strengths you see in other people rather than the weaknesses.
  • Correct mistakes in a friendly manner if there is a need.
  • Do not discuss someone’s weakness elsewhere if you’re not seeking a solution to it.
  • Never laugh at a mistake on someone’s face.
  • Learn to apologize just in case your words may have sent the wrong message.
  • Listen and only answer when he’s quiet. Speaking before he finishes makes him feel you undermine his intelligence and worsens the situation.
  • Be approachable.

Can Inferiority Complex Last Forever?

Low self-esteem: The death that kills the living
"Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's low self-esteem."


It depends a lot on the person and the support system in place. Never give up no matter how much you’re struggling to get the victim back to shape. As they grow older, they tend to conform to the systems in society.

Low self-esteem can be a passing cloud. It can as well take a permanent residence in a victim. Believe that you can help get rid of it, and it will come to pass. It’s only but in the mind.

Wrap Up

Low self-esteem if left unattended becomes too costly for the entire family.

Now, are you guilty of your child's low self-esteem? Start saving the situation today. I would also be glad if you shared this post with your friends.

2 thoughts on “Low Self-Esteem: The Thorn In The Flesh

  1. What a nice post to help us support our growing children! Thank you for these insights.

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